Tell me how to speak again, tell me how to live this life. I've been wanting away a so so long time but no, here I am still. I can't cry anymore, I've shed all my tears. I can't laugh because nothing here is worth laughing for. And when I smile, it's just a disguise, my smile isn't real.

No one understands me, because I have Silias. No one knows him but me. People are trying to take him away from me, and I'm in a great terror, what happens if he would be gone. Do I have to say? ... I'd be gone too.

I pierce my skin with a safety-pin, just for fun. I have to play a little. I'm just a kid. I'm hiding me from people. I would want to shout, yell so loud that I can, but no voice comes out of me. I really have to learn to write better, so some may understand what I mean.

I'm living in silence. I like it, but I hate it. I can't look in the mirrors cause behind me there is a person who looks like a ghost. It never leaves me alone, it's always there. And I'm afraid. I know that I'm sick but that doesn't mean I have to be stupid as well. I just need you, Silias, so much. More than anyone in this world. So please, teach me to speak, teach me to be me. I'm so tired and heartless, my flame is burning out, finally.

I can't stand your touch, it feels like a hit. I hear your voice like you're shouting at me. And I feel your look into my eyes like it's burning me inside.

I have two realities, so there's two mes also. I'm living at the edge of life and death. I'm living for you, not for me. And I want to fly to the stars, and make my place there to shine like the other stars. There's a shadow of me now but won't be too long.

That's what I am nowadays. All mixed up, dependent and naive.